I am not going to give you a psychological jibber jabbery blog on why
teenagers dislike church. Some things are not that complicated to
understand.
I read an article about why kids leave church and I finished
reading it having more questions then answers like: Why are kids
leaving church? They're kids. Better question would be
how are
they leaving? Is a 7 year old taking his dad's keys and driving home?
Are 12 year olds threatening their parents with violence if they don't
leave them home? My mother would never let me stay home unless I was
clearly too sick to be in public.
As far as teens are concerned. The
reason they leave church is pretty simple and some may be the same
reason the churches are quietly dying...
1. Lack of Spirituality
This is the first thing many older church members will say about those
teens who leave church. It's simple to say, but how do we fix the
problem? Everyone has doubts, the problem is people would rather leave
church then ask questions. They'd rather leave church or live with their
doubts than talk to their pastor, church elder or youth director.
A few
years ago. I attended an international Camporee. I, along with my group
sat outside of our tents at around 11 pm having a late night snack. As
we sat, the younger teens began asking religious question. Some very
simple, others more complex. I was almost in tears, because I had known
some of them for 3 or more years and never knew they had these doubts.
It made me realize how inactive I was, not inactive in church, but
inactive in the lives of the teens. I partially blamed myself, but then I
wondered why they didn't talk to their parents about this stuff and
they said
"We can't. Every time we ask questions, they get mad and
frustrated." Always goes back to the parents doesn't it? Anywho, it took
one dark night...and food to get them to open up about their doubts.
When someone gets rejected for a job due to lack of experience, they ask
"How can I get experience if no one hires me?" Well, how can someone
learn how to be spiritual if no one teaches them? Don't worry if parents
are doing their job or not, worry about if you're doing yours.
2. Boring.
Let's face it, it is difficult for teens or even adults to sit down for
3-4 hours and do nothing but listen. It's not just church, at least
with me it isn't. I'm the same way in school even at work. After only an
hour into my orientation and I'm all ready for my first break. It's not
always a lack of spirituality, let's be honest even the most faithful
christian can be seen snoozing on their pew. Wonder where the pastor
went? Check the back room, he's probably there taking a nap!
Some people
compare church to TV and say if you can watch TV for 5 hours, you
shouldn't have a problem in church. That's a bad comparison because with
TV you have different personalities, commercial breaks, food to eat
during, comedy and all around entertainment. Church...let's face it,
there can be 100 different people speaking and many times they all speak
as if there were snipers on them ready to shoot if they mess up. No
emotion behind their words. No individuality. Of course, nervs play a
major role in that too. Which makes it more of the presenter's fault
then the actual church's.
In nature humans seek entertainment,
especially teens. Something that will raise their emotions instead of
listening to logic and truth. That is why people like Pr. Jose Rojas is
so popular among the youth. He makes jokes and adds humor. Thus keeping
the attention of all listeners. He adds humor into logic and truth.
Keeping listeners attention and educating them at the same time. All the
church has to do is add more humor to it or the presenters could add
their own personal touch. The sermons, the skits etc. I know some people
will say that church is not a place to make jokes. I'm sure God has a
sense of humor and as long as we don't disrespect him and cross the
line, he won't mind. Others will say church is not a theater. I'm not
saying to turn church into a circus or a Hollywood production, but
things need to improve to keep the attention of the teens and the
members in general.
3. Criticism How do you tell a
baptized teen how to dress appropriately without offending them? Beats
me, but it's best to say nothing until you know how. The only people
that can tell teens how to dress and act are celebrities...apparently.
They don't like going to church and being told what not to do, much less
how to dress and lose their "Swag" status. Church does have a dress
code, like school
does used to have and we should obey those
policies. Personally, I don't see why they make it so complicated. Dress
shirt and dress pants. They come way cheaper then the latest brands for
jeans and shirts. At the same time the churches (and I know mine does
not do this) should understand that some teens may not have the time to
iron/wash dressy clothes. or maybe they did but something caused them to
change. In all fairness teens have no reason to not come well dressed
or appropriately dressed to church, I understand the church in this,
however the church needs to learn a way to acknowledge the issue without
offending the teen...mission impossible? Yes, but it's important to
make it clear to them that you are not criticizing what they wear but
merely advising them on what's appropriate, especially when they stand
or sit (in female cases) on stage.
4. Gossip Probably
the main reason. Gossip is the number 1 member loosing, faith destroying
tool Satan has come up with. It's destroyed marriages, relationships
and friendships. It is not your job to warn a girl about a boy she likes
or a guy about a girl he likes. It is not your job to tell others what
someone was doing on a Saturday Night. It is not your job to tell others
about a personal battle someone is having with temptation. Your job is to make sure that person doesn't leave God's path
1
Peter 4:15 (KJV) But let none of you suffer as a murderer, or as a
thief, or as an evildoer, or as a busybody in other men's matters.
Leviticus
19:16 (NIV) Do not go about spreading slander among your people. ‘Do
not do anything that endangers your neighbor’s life. I am the Lord.
There
are many other versus on the subject. Exodus says not to spread false
reports. It's one of the Ten Commandments. While I realize not all
Christians are perfect, this is probably the worse one than an alcoholic
Christian, because at least the drunkard doesn't take anyone else down
with him. His drunken actions aren't causing teens to leave church. His
drinking habits don't ruin relationships. What's your job? To simply
pray for that person, reach out to others about God and work on your own
problems.
5. Lack of Discipline We get up for work because we have to, truth is we don't
have to, we
choose
to because we want/need the money. No one is forcing you to go to work,
you force yourself. You have taught yourself to be responsible and be
disciplined, but when it comes to church are we disciplined? We can
blame others, we can blame rumors, we can blame the boringness of the
church, but many times people don't go because they just don't want to
get up early and go. They're too tired, it's too early and whatever
else. Sometimes the reason teens don't go to church is simply because
they are not disciplined enough. Work is really not as important as your
salvation. Miss work and your job is on the line, miss church your life
is on the line. Choose your destination.
1:32 AM
PDD
